


i’m gonna make sure your loved ones never find you

by Rockium



Series: the thoughts of ghosts and other things along the way [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Gratuitous Foreshadowing, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I have no regrets and you cannot stop me, I’m so sorry...not ;), Morally Ambiguous Character, Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader dies, Reader’s boyfriend’s name is Marvel, Reader’s name is Alyssa, Star Wars References, everyone gets hurt, in which everyone gets bullied but I just amplify the pain with snarky narration, no happy ending, not beta read I die like Alyssa does at the end, read Entity NEO for context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28104531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rockium/pseuds/Rockium
Summary: It’s been two months since your boyfriend has gone missing down the mountain, and so far the search parties have made minimal progress.You can’t take this agony any longer. If the search parties can’t find him, you’ll find him yourself.Doesn’t mean that you’ll like what you discover, though.(A second-person retelling of chapter 22 of Entity NEO, an Undertale Napstablook-centric fancomic.)
Series: the thoughts of ghosts and other things along the way [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084034
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	i’m gonna make sure your loved ones never find you

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Entity NEO](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/727137) by Mod NEO and Mod Migosp. 



> This is literally just chapter 22 of Entity NEO, only from the main antagonist’s perspective.
> 
> Some warnings are in order.
> 
> To everyone who has read Entity NEO: I would like to formally apologize beforehand for calling Napstablook an “abomination of nature” and some other really nasty things at some point in this drabble. They really don’t deserve to be creatively labeled as such, I know, but I vibed too hardcore while writing this thing and given the perspective I’m writing from, it would be odd to tone down the derogatory terms. 
> 
> To everyone else: I’m so sorry lmao, I’m going to have to warn you that this isn’t your usual Reader is Not Frisk. You can always read Entity NEO for context, but I’m not here to encourage you to binge all 20+ chapters before you look at this oneshot just to know what in god’s name is going on. I can’t stop you from spoilering yourself. Hope you enjoy the suffering that follows! :’)
> 
> To Mod NEO and Mod Migosp: ...I actually have no words for you other than I’m so sorry lmao, hope you’re fine with me giving your one-off human OCs names because I just like them that much. Enjoy!
> 
> Without further ado, have the thing that kept me up ‘till about 1 am writing this, and then some.

“A teenager with hopes and dreams of-”

_Click!_

You can’t take this any longer. The utter lack of search party updates, the suffocating loneliness, the bittersweet memory of his sunny, mirthful laughter right before he was ripped away from you so abruptly. Every single day since that night has sunk a knife into your chest, and twisted it just a little deeper into your heart.

_...I can’t...I can’t take this anymore._

That’s it, you decide with finality, getting up from the sofa. If the search parties can’t find Marvel, you’ll find him yourself.

* * *

Mount Ebott - the last place anyone ever saw him - isn’t more than a ten minute drive from your house. Such a location infamous for tales of missing people shouldn’t have a town be built in close proximity to it, you muse now, in stark contrast to the mindset you held before your world came crashing down. If you could afford to lighten up at the moment you’d mirthlessly poke fun at this tragic irony to...to h-

...the saliva in your mouth immediately sours. _He’s not here. He hasn’t been for two months._ You clench your freezing fists in an attempt to keep the tears from welling up, and try to use the pain to shove those terrible worst scenarios back down into the darkness from whence they came. _No_ , you repeat for the fifth time today like a mantra, _he’s still alive out there, he has to be, because I still haven’t said so many things to him…I still haven’t confessed-_

Biting the inside of your cheek helps you ward off the regrets, at least for a fleeting second. You don’t need to wallow in your sorrow now; you need to breathe.

_I have the GPS coordinates for Mount Ebott on my phone. Good. Step one complete. If what they say about monsters in the mountain is true, I’m going to need something to defend myself with._

Luckily, there’s your trusty, well-used lucky baseball bat sitting near your room door. It brings back now bittersweet memories from almost two years ago, shortly after Marvel and you started dating (platonically, of course). Your team, the Ebott Zephyrs, had just clinched second place in the national baseball championship, and a few days after your team’s celebratory dinner he arranged a surprise party at his dad’s diner to “join in on the fun”, in his words, and the way he looked at you when you were so wonderfully surprised by the cake and the hanging firefly lights and your friends, it was so full of love and joy…a-and…

 _Move, Alyssa. Move,_ you tell yourself, biting the inside of your cheek again as you grab the bat and walk yourself to the car in a blur, the dread in your gut unsettled as you slip the key in the ignition and feel the engine rumble to life. Your coordinates are set; you know exactly where to go.

 _If- no,_ **_once_ ** _you find Marvel,_ you tell yourself forcefully, again shoving the dread back into the recesses of your gut, _you can always make more happy memories together._

_Just gotta hold out a little longer now._

* * *

Bitter saliva builds up in your mouth as you pass the camping area where you all once sat. Once upon a time, you casually bid Marvel farewell as he went off to join Trey and Dolan to explore the allegedly legendary Mount Ebott, unknowing that he would prove the warnings and tales true. You grimace and try to ignore the sensation of your throat tightening, for that’s all you can do.

Mount Ebott is uneventful, dead, and shows no signs of Marvel.

You search the perimeter about three times before you finally approach the cavern entrance you’ve passed by in previous searches, wanting to ensure that the mountain was definitely clear first. Lodged at its entrance is a very conspicuous pit, which would be quite easy to trip and fall into given the multitude of tree roots in close proximity. Your flashlight doesn’t help much to reveal the bottom of it, and gradually you piece the clues together.

You haven’t seen any sign of him anywhere else. This pit is surprisingly easy to fall into. It looks deep enough that there wouldn’t be any easy way to climb out. Mount Ebott is famous for tales of missing people…

...if your predictions are true, which you really hope they are, Marvel is somewhere in this hole.

A stray thought briefly stops you from jumping recklessly down the rabbit hole. _Everyone who goes missing in Mount Ebott never returns._

_I’ve found the place where Marvel went missing...if I were to follow his path, I’d…_

Is it really worth it, to just throw your life away like that in search of one person?

You hesitate a moment, and then remember the first sleepless night after he never came back with Trey and Dolan. The worry. The tears. The _agony._ How much did you cry that first night? The nights after that? You loved Marvel, _loved him so painfully much_ , and god forbid some stupid myth make you reconsider and wallow in regret for the rest of your life. _Damn the legend!_ You retort, steeling your nerves as you unbutton your cardigan and tie it around your waist. _I’m getting my boyfriend back, even if it means…_

_...if it means disappearing with him too._

You take one last look at the drop, ready your trusty baseball bat, before you close your eyes and take the plunge.

If Marvel’s died down there - you entertain the thought for barely a second before you shove it back into the pools of dread - then you’re going to join him down there too, so many meters below the surface of the earth.

_I’m coming, Marvel. Not long now._

* * *

As it turns out, the less morbid legends regarding Mount Ebott are right. The mountain cavern is home to surprisingly many creatures of fairytale, and you’re Alice in Wonderland, giving the nearest talking flower a good ol’ taste of wooden baseball bat simply because its creepy smile and sickeningly sweet tone do not radiate trustworthy vibes. 

Anyway, the verbal weed (who is now sending death threats your way) isn’t what you’re here for, and your name isn’t Alice - it’s Alyssa. Alyssa in Wonderland would probably appeal to a more mature, less squeamish audience, in which a badass teenage heroine descends down the rabbit hole and kicks everyone’s butts in search of her missing boyfriend.

God, you’re getting nostalgic for action comics at the most inappropriate time. You’ve just signed your death wish mere moments ago in jumping down Mount Ebott, and this is what you have the gall to ponder? Granted, this place could really use a little more action - every weird frog or bug fairy you encounter in the labyrinthine hallways flees before you even get a chance to raise your bat. Why couldn’t life just imitate fiction, or at least video games?

Either way, no Marvel here. Keep looking.

* * *

Nothing really stands in your way until you’re ankle-deep in snow - if you were less focused on the task at hand you’d probably question the logistics of how climate functions in this place. The creatures that block your path here don suits of armor and are armed to the teeth, unlike the scared animals you found moments ago in those ruins. They’re soldiers, probably. Who knew that there would be an actual army under this giant lump of rock?

Well, no choice but to raise your bat and fight.

Instantly, you’re surprised by just how easily you can take each monster out, just by guessing a weak spot and swinging as hard as you can several times. Watching some of the surviving creatures flee the scene, you momentarily feel invincible - but no, that definitely cannot be the case. If it really were that easy, Marvel would’ve been able to handle these chumps and run home free a long time ago. So where is he?

You focus your sights on the reinforcements coming your way, and batter up.

* * *

The further you venture, the more the dread in your gut bubbles to the surface and clouds your mind in black, choking smog, and it gets harder to not envision the worst. Marvel’s not here either...what if he’s already dead? Killed by one of those monster soldiers, or fallen down that waterfall pit you’d passed by earlier, and left trapped here forever under this god-forsaken mountain, never again able to see the light of day-

_Marvel, where the heck are you?...please, just give me a sign...I’d die to see you again, you know that?..._

Again, you attempt to bury these terrible intrusive thoughts in the recesses of your mind as searing agony rips the back of your shoulder asunder, but it gets harder to choke back even as you’re taking out all your misery and pain on the elite guardsman standing in your way who looks a lot like a bow tie with an eye, kind of like the ones you used to wear as a kid. Once they’re on the ground and reeling, you pick up your trusty bat and bash them on that very eye to ensure that they don’t get up, and you yourself soldier on with a heavier heart and an aching, fresh wound.

* * *

By the time you reach the part of the cavern which is literally that fire planet from Star Wars where poor Anakin loses an arm and a leg and burns up and dies, ~~probably like how Marvel would if he really perished here,~~ you’re exhausted, bleeding, and only running on sheer force of will and adrenaline alone. What ungodly hour of the morning is it now? The ocean of lava several meters down sure isn’t helping you tell the time.

 _Jesus Christ, Marvel, where are you?..._ At this point, your hope is on its last legs. If you couldn’t find any signs of him in any of the cooler regions in this hellhole, what chance do you have of finding him here, in literal hell?

Now you dare to entertain the thought that maybe, just maybe, Marvel is gone forever, and as much as you want to wipe the tears streaming freely down your face and push that malignant whisper back into the crevasses of your mind where it can’t haunt you again, you’re too tired to do so, your heart too heavy with despair. Besides, the heat’s evaporating it all off your cheeks anyway, and you need your grip tight and tense on your trusty bat in order to deal with the next thing that tries to kill you, and potentially could’ve taken Marvel’s life as well-

_Clang!_

...What the hell was that?

Instinctively, you turn on your heels and glance behind you, and besides the faint reverberation of metal crashing loudly on the ground you think you can vaguely hear someone muttering something, but it sounds so muffled and so far away. Your currently crappy vision, blurred with tears, does not help matters.

Once you blink a little bit more and approach, your exhausted brain cells finally start processing something a little more hopeful.

There’s another person here.

...granted, they have a hairdo that defies everything you’ve learnt about in physics class and most of them is still too blurry to make out beyond a vague, fuzzy outline, but that’s a human person! Down here! In literal hell! They might know a thing or two about what happened to Marvel, right?

...right?...

“Wait, a person? Finally…” You forcibly choke out, throat dry and terribly tight. “Please...please help me…”

As the emotions rise to the surface all at once and the waterworks begin again, you just barely notice your head spinning, dizzy from the heat and fatigue, and it takes all your effort to not immediately collapse on the heated ground. “Ugh...it’s so hot...my tears are evaporating out here…”

 _Breathe, Alyssa. Just compose yourself..._ you do that, willing all your misery and agony to just stay under for a moment longer so you don’t collapse into an undignified, crying mess in front of your only hope for help, and begin your story. “...I’m sorry...I just...I’m looking for someone…I lost him. I lost my boyfriend…”

Immediately, all the happy memories burn in the back of your mind, stronger than ever before, and if you had saliva left in your mouth it would’ve soured worse than that time you and Marvel ate expired yoghurt as a dare. 

“I miss him so much. We’ve been dating for almost two years now...well, we were…”

The regrets burn too, almost as strong as the bittersweet memories do. “...He went missing months ago. I never got to tell him how I feel about him...I loved him...a-and I just…”

You remember the first time you realized that you loved him beyond the close friendship you had, that night when he took you out to look at the stars. They all shone so brightly, but somehow, in the back of your mind, you realized that he shone brighter than all of them.

His smile was like the sun. 

His hugs were warm and comforting, like the campfires you used to play around as children.

...his absence was a frozen icepick being slowly hammered into your heart…

_...why didn’t I just tell him that night that I loved him so?..._

“...I-I don’t want to be alone anymore! I want to see-”

**_“I’M SORRY!”_ **

Their sudden anguished cry derails your train of thought. “W-what?”

“I...I didn’t _mean_ to do it! I didn’t mean to push him!” 

_What?_

“E-everyone’s been saying that I did the right thing and that we need more souls to escape-”

Souls? Escape? The _fuck?_

“-and I’m just so _confused_ and _scared_...I want to help, but I-”

You’re about to tell this poor fellow to slow down for a hot second when the pieces suddenly click in your sleep-addled mind.

Push. _Souls._ **_Sorry._ **

“Wait.”

_You didn’t mean to push him._

_You pushed him…_

_..._ **_pushed_ ** _..._

“...you... ** _YOU_ ** _killed him?!”_

The look on their face said it all.

“I...I didn’t mean to...I’m sorry...I...I…”

They back away from you like a doe does from a starving wolf, and finally you can see the “person” in front of you for what they really are.

That’s not a human person, but a mere mockery of one. An unnatural android with a giant arm cannon designed to blast you to pieces, and pronged, antler-like shoulders. A _killing machine._

_...they killed Marvel._

_…_ ** _You_ ** _killed Marvel..._

“...No,” you whisper now, voice dangerously low and quiet. “You’re not like me. You’re not even like _them._ ”

_They didn’t get my hopes up and ruin my life in one fell swoop. Not like you._

“No...you’re some other kind of creature.”

 _And there’s a name for_ **_abominations_ ** _like_ **_you_** _._

 **“YOU’RE AN** **_ANGEL_ ** **OF** **_DEATH!!_** **”**

You channel all your rage and anger and self-righteous revenge into your trusty baseball bat, and swing true. Somehow, the hit not only connects, but you also manage to take off an arm, revealing the wires and sockets that make up some part of this abomination of nature, and send that robotic limb flying into the lava below.

They’re on the ground now, pitifully attempting to scoot away from the goddess of revenge and fury that is you. They’ve taken so much from you. How dare they attempt to run?

“I’m gonna make you pay for this,” you say with finality, and look them dead in their glass eyes, bat at the ready.

_I’m gonna put you through the pain I’ve suffered._

**“I’m gonna make sure YOUR loved ones never find** **_YOU!_** **”**

You slam a foot onto the upside-down heart symbol on their torso, and start crushing it with all the weight you have and all the fucks you have left, and you’re too infuriated to flinch when they scream out in pain.

“No! Stop! _Please!_...”

 _Shut the fuck up!_ You stamp harder, the metal and plastic under your foot yielding more with a satisfying _crack,_ and backhand them with the blunt edge of your baseball bat for good measure. That, of course, doesn’t shut them up, but you’re not here for that. You’re here to make them **suffer.**

Briefly, you pause your beatdown to catch the breath you never knew you’d been holding, and wipe the tears that haven’t evaporated from the heat - a terrible mistake, for as soon as you finish rubbing your eyes, there’s an arm cannon pointed right at you, and you can practically hear the gears turning in that thing as it charges up a shot.

You freeze, barely giving yourself time to brace for the worst-

“...I can’t! I can’t do this!...It hurts... ** _IT HURTS!_** ”

-How _dare_ they attempt to show mercy to you now. _How_ **_dare_ ** _you believe I will show the same kindness in return. You deserve none of my pity._

Ignoring the anguished screams and whimpers that follow, you channel all your fury into one final swing-

_This is for Marvel, you despicable murderer!_

-and they yield, tumbling silently into the lava pits below.

Your work here is done. You’ve avenged Marvel’s death. You’re still alive to tell the tale.

_Now what?..._

* * *

Wounded, tensed and fatigued, both physically and emotionally, you continue across the bridge, too dog-tired to contemplate both your grief and the zooming, vaguely humanoid blur flying right over your head-

_...wait. Why do I hear boss music?..._

-they land with a resounding _crash_ right in front of you, battered and looking vastly more _dead_ than they were ten seconds ago, but ultimately still standing. _How the fuck are you still alive?!_ Adrenaline surges in your veins again as you raise your bat, steeling your nerves for another round against this growling mechanical beast-

_Wham!_

One swift, sudden kick from their disturbingly gaudy high heel knocks your trusty bat right out of your grasp, and snaps it like a twig long before you even begin to register the aching pain in your fingers. The abomination of nature rises to their full height now, staring into your soul with blank, dead glass eyes, not unlike how you gazed into theirs mere moments before with burning rage and righteous fury, and now you’re beginning to have regrets about not making sure that this... _thing_ was finished off properly.

Granted, nothing should be able to survive a drop into lava like that. The worst part?...they aren’t even charred. They show no signs of being burnt by molten rock. The only injuries they seem to bear are the ones inflicted by you, which means that somehow, by some twisted miracle, they managed to fly themself out of the pits of hell at the last second.

“...W-who are you?...WHAT are you?” You mutter, now properly panicked, because now you’re up against a monstrosity that has escaped certain death...and whatever that had stopped them from blasting you to bits before isn’t holding them back now. You have nothing to defend yourself with except your bare fists, but this time you’re pretty sure you’re going to earn nothing trying to punch through metal but some broken knuckles and a laser beam to the face.

They do not answer the question themself, neither do they verbally respond in any audible way, but watching them let loose an unearthly _roar_ as wings of pink light erupt from their pronged shoulders, you manage to derive the answer yourself.

 _...They’re an_ **_angel_ ** _of_ **_death_** _._

Specifically, _yours._

And by all accounts, you are fucking screwed. “P-Please! Don’t hurt me!” You cry, because _you did not come this far just to die at the hands of the monster that murdered your boyfriend too,_ but the dread that once brought your worst fears to the forefront of your mind now utters one, terrible truth:

_It’s no use._

It was correct before, and it certainly is correct right now. Any second now, your life will end at the point-blank blast of a cannon, and you have not come to terms with that just yet.

“...ky…” The angel of death mumbles over and over again, their voice hushed and raspy and _dead_ , and you do not know what this means, only that they are certainly not up for sparing you. As much as you want to run, run away and escape your terrible fate, your legs are rooted to the ground again, and you know there is nothing saving you this time. The angel roars, pointing their cannon right at your face-

-the pink glow brightens, and your life flashes before your eyes. _No!_ _I’ve so much I haven’t done yet! So many things I haven’t said - no!_ **_No!_ ** _Not now! I haven’t even bid Mom and Dad goodbye yet-_

**_BLAM!_ **

...You might’ve thought yourself too young to die, yet your world burns away in searing pain and hellfire regardless, before it all fades to cinders and black.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternately titled: THE ULTIMATE NICHE CONTENT, which caters to ME and ME ALONE. I’m just sharing it ‘cause I wanna see some people squirm ;)
> 
> Actually, you know what? I’m not sorry for causing you feels, if you have any. Have a nice day!


End file.
